Has someone ever told you something and it instantly made you go numb?
I got told something that doesn’t seem like a big deal to most people, but the series of events that it caused or came during make it worse. Like when that special someone sends you a cute message but come to find out they were drunk when they sent it. Or you guys are on your way to pick up a gift you bought them and they are telling you they got jealous of their friend talking to a chick that they had plans with as well. You are forced to not respond in the moment and to just take it all in and stay calm. Thankfully the numbness slowly takes over and makes it easier to not react.
You really start to think. Did you really mean what you said? Do you even remember saying it to me? Or was it just drunken words in the moment? Am I really that dumb to be buying a guy gifts who is making plans with other chicks? How are you making plans with someone else while you are on the phone with me all day? How are you openly telling me this when you know how I feel about you? And how the hell do I still love you after all of this?
Not to mention at the end of the rant, he goes “what do you think?” WHAT DO I THINK?! Are you kidding me?! How can you even ask me that?!
I don’t even know if I’m more mad at him or myself. How can I continue to put myself through this? How do I continuously give my everything to someone who doesn’t feel the same?